sinkhole dude

Sinkhole. Say it a few times...it sounds totally gross. Sinkhole sinkhole sinkhole sinkhole. What does it even mean (a hole formed in soluble rock by the action of water, serving to conduct surface water to an underground passage), really? It's such a poor man's "disaster".  All it means to me is an extra 1.7 miles of walking per commute. Super Thighs, here I come! A fractured water main and all hell breaks loose.

Actually, I retort. It also means that the Bay Area would whoop on us in an arm wrestling match. Their overpass explodes and collapses in a gasoline induced, fiery eruption of unruliness, and we had slushy sinking. The biggest danger to the two drivers involved was trying to climb away from the scene in their Tevas. Careful - there may be sharp rocks! Busses rerouted, I-5 is a mess. How are all of the Subarus supposed to get across the bridge?! Is there any way that going green can solve this? Panic traffic can only be avoided through a combination of biodiesel, hybrid technology and veganism. What...about...the cyclists? I have no idea what I'm talking about. I'm drunk off Diet Dr. Pepper and walking.